joi, 21 decembrie 2023

Mister Joseph and Miss Cathy — Screenplay (Part XIII)


CATHY

Telling the truth, Mister Joseph, I don't care. Being with you means being on the right path.

MISTER JOSEPH

(very touched)

I'm happy, dear young lady, to hear such words of you. And at the same time I'm sorry you don't enjoy the nice words you deserve. But what can I do if I'm a rather aged person, so to speak, and many times sullen. — (In a fit of sincerity.) Yes, don't try to comfort me, as you usually do, dear young lady. Please believe me that I have lived long enough until today, to know myself pretty well.

The car jolts as it passes over a bump and at the same time a sound of bottles clinking against one another can be heard.

MISTER JOSEPH

What was that?

CATHY

(carelessly)

A bump, Mister Joseph.

MISTER JOSEPH

Ah, don't trouble me with your bumps! I seemed to hear jingling bottles.

CATHY

Full or empty?

Mister Joseph frowningly glances at her, while Cathy begins humming again.

CATHY

(some moments later)

I think they were full, Mister Joseph.

She bursts laughing.

MISTER JOSEPH

I beg you, young lady, don't torment me! I just had begun to regret that we didn't look for the hotel restaurant. Not that it's hot, but, you know, a bottle of beer never comes amiss. Would you take a look at the back seat?

Cathy looks at the back seat. There is nothing there.

CATHY

I'm sorry but there's no trace of beer.

MISTER JOSEPH

(resignedly)

Well, that's what it is! Maybe some other time.

The car moves now through a forest with high trees. Yellow and rust-colored leaves are falling and sliding over the windscreen, but both Mister Joseph and Cathy ignore them. Cathy hums, When you're smiling.

CATHY

(some moments later)

Anyway, you had no money.

MISTER JOSEPH

I know. So, what?

CATHY

I mean for the restaurant.

MISTER JOSEPH

I could find my way out, dear young lady, in the most difficult circumstances throughout my long and tumultuous life, mind you. Besides, you have noticed I'm a known person. If Cornelius had heard of me although I hadn't concluded with him any bargain till today, you can be sure that at the restaurant I would have been all the more known. They would have helped us on trust. — Or a simple signature would have...

An awful bump shakes the car, throwing the two to the car top. At the same time, clinking bottles distinctly can be heard. Mister Joseph instantly stops the car.

MISTER JOSEPH

This time, dear young lady, I think I need to make sure. Don't tell me I have an ear sensitive to jingling bottles!

Cathy nods and they both quickly get out the car, go around it to the back and stop in front of the trunk. Mister Joseph hands the bunch of keys to Cathy.

MISTER JOSEPH

Would you mind trying to unlock it? You know, it would take me too long with my awkward hand. Besides, I wouldn't stand another disappointment. I had too many of them throughout my long and tumultuous life. So, I won't look while you will unlock. Just tell me: Yes or No?

Mister Joseph moves one step backward and covers his eyes with his hand, while he support his elbow with the other hand. Looking at him, Cathy bursts laughing.

CATHY

You know, Mister Joseph, once I saw a statue which looked exactly like you now.

MISTER JOSEPH

Please, dear missy, stop joking and quickly do your job. I don't have time to waste on your statues!

Mister Joseph hears Cathy unlock and raise the trunk lid. Cathy cheerfully hums the song.

MISTER JOSEPH

(after a pause)

Well, dear lady, what are you still doing there? Is it or is not?

CATHY

(with a burst of cheer)

It is, Mister Joseph!

Mister Joseph removes his hand from his eyes. In the trunk they can see a whole case of bottles full of beer.

MISTER JOSEPH

(trying to keep cool)

You see, dear young lady, successes never intoxicated me because, among other things, I had until today no roaring successes, so to speak. The key to success in my life has been patience, and I can say that key never shook in my hand. I lost a lot, but I won even more. All in all, I lost whole carloads, but I won the confidence of my honorable customers. The same as today. — I lost a bottle of beer. — Maybe even two. But Providence has sent a whole case on my way. Could you tell this case comes too late? (Cathy ardently denies.) I'm glad you agree it's never too late.

He looks around; evening is setting in.

MISTER JOSEPH

It's true it's become a little cooler. — I mean, a rather shallow person might state that the time for beer is gone. But I never judged a product by how good or how bad it was. A product, dear young lady, is a sign! One's full skill is to perceive that sign. And I can tell you, dear missy, without praising myself, that I am skilled like nobody else in perceiving signs.

Mister Joseph takes the case out of the trunk and puts it by the car.

Some minutes later, Mister Joseph and Cathy sit next to each other on the car footboard, their elbows rested on their knees, Mister Joseph holding a bottle of beer half filled. Yellow leafs are falling. Mister Joseph raises the bottle to his mouth and takes one more sip.

CATHY

Is it good?

MISTER JOSEPH

It's wonderful, dear young lady. Will you taste it?

CATHY

No, thank you. I never drink beer.

Mister Joseph takes a sip. Then one more. He sees Cathy sitting next to him rather shriveling.

MISTER JOSEPH

Aren't you cold?

CATHY

A little. You?

MISTER JOSEPH

It's getting pretty dark. (He takes one more sip.) Don't you think it's time to move on?

Some time later the car moves in dark on a country road, headlamps lighted. The headlamps light the road and the falling yellow leaves. They travel silently for a while.

CATHY

(in mock carelessness)

Mister Joseph, did you put the case back in the trunk?

Mister Joseph starts and slaps his forehead.

MISTER JOSEPH

Poor me! I forgot!

Car moves erratically and Mister Joseph rushes to stabilize it.

MISTER JOSEPH

What fine merchandise it was, dear lady! It's a pity I lost it! A big pity! I guess it will fall into the hands of a greenhorn just as usually happens with high quality merchandise. — I could go back to look for it.

Cathy casts a frightened glance at him.

MISTER JOSEPH

It's not the case to be afraid, missy, I think it would be hard to find it in this dark. So, I won't get back, don't worry. (After a pause, angrily.) I don't understand what pleasure do you find in angering people! Once I forgot it, wouldn't you better not remind me at all of it? Now I would have driven carelessly, maybe I even would feel like singing. But this way, singing is the last thing I have a mind to do!

CATHY

(cheerfully)

Mister Joseph!

Mister Joseph turns his head to her. Cathy suddenly takes out a bottle of beer from behind her back.

MISTER JOSEPH

Oh, missy!

Mister Joseph fingers his pockets searching for his soothing pills. The car begins to move windingly and Cathy rushes to straighten the wheel.

MISTER JOSEPH

Hold the wheel a little more.

He pulls out his handkerchief and wipes his forehead dry.

MISTER JOSEPH

I don't know what to say, dear young lady! To chide you, or to praise you?

He takes over the wheel.

CATHY

Praise me. — Anyway there were too many bottles to drink them all yourself. Besides, it's getting cool. I think two would be enough for you!

MISTER JOSEPH

Two!

Cathy takes out one more bottle from behind her back.

MISTER JOSEPH

Dear young lady, till now I praised you for being a so faithful client of mine. But now I'm sure I skipped over what was the most important: you made a big mistake by not taking up trading. With these tricks of yours, you would have gained the sympathy of the staunchest customers.

CATHY

So, you can sing now, Mister Joseph.

MISTER JOSEPH

Hem, yes. — I'm not sure you teased me or...

CATHY

I didn't tease you.

MISTER JOSEPH

I'm not sure whether you teased me, but I can assure you make a mistake judging me by my present voice, pretty hoarse, so to speak. You should know that a few years ago, in my — hem! — youth, I was deemed to be one of the merchants with a very agreeable voice. — If I have impaired it, that was my cipher-brother's fault. (Cathy laughs.) Yes. — It's nothing to laugh at! It was his fault I impaired my voice. Because he did everything cross-patched and I had to yell at him every time. And not that I stressed my voice. But you saw one hasn't much mind to sing when one is angry, dear young lady.

The engine coughs and the motor hesitates.

MISTER JOSEPH

What's that?

CATHY

This can happen to everyone. I happen to cough myself from time to time.

MISTER JOSEPH

I have no mind to joke, dear missy. You can cough as much as you wish. But you don't carry anybody. While this car carries us both. And you should know I wouldn't enjoy...

The engine coughs once more and the car stumbles joltingly for one moment. Mister Joseph stops the car and turns to Cathy resting his arm upon the back of the seat. The greenish glittering of the board indicators is mirrored on his face.

MISTER JOSEPH

Would you mind giving me a bottle of beer?

Smiling, Cathy hands him a bottle.

MISTER JOSEPH

I don't know what you always find to laugh at!

CATHY

I'm not laughing, Mister Joseph.

MISTER JOSEPH

You probably don't realize the circumstances we are in! — Don't tell me again you don't have to worry about because you are with me. I'm sick of listening to you say this again and again. You should know that I am concerned in spite of being with you, so to speak...

Mister Joseph looks around looking for an object which could be used as a bottle opener. His eyes fasten at the nickelled ring of the speedometer. He puts the bottle cap edge against the ring and hits it with his fist. The speedometer ring tears off and falls. Cathy bursts laughing.

MISTER JOSEPH

(in a guilty tone)

It has gone to the devil.

Cathy nods cautiously in order not to make Mister Joseph even angrier.

CATHY

Anyway, we didn't need it.

MISTER JOSEPH

How do you know we didn't need it?

CATHY

Because we have no gas any more.

MISTER JOSEPH

What makes you infer such nonsense? Forgive me for speaking so bluntly.

Cathy shows him the gas indicator, the needle of which stopped at the mark TOWING REQUIRED.

MISTER JOSEPH

(looks cheerless outside)

Who'd tow us in this wasteland?

Then Mister Joseph notices the door window frame, which he tries right away to use as a bottle opener. After his fist hit, the bottle cap stuck in the frame. Mister Joseph takes it and stretches it to Cathy.

MISTER JOSEPH

Perhaps you collect caps.

CATHY

(denies)

Thanks, but I don't collect them.

MISTER JOSEPH

As you wish.

Mister Joseph tosses the cap out the window, and inquiringly gazes at Cathy. Cathy pretends not to notice his mute question. Mister Joseph takes a sip of beer, then another one, while he keeps staring at Cathy equally inquiringly.

MISTER JOSEPH

(losing his patience)

Say something, young lady, stop tormenting me!

CATHY

What could I say? I'm not sure what are you interested in.

Mister Joseph, upset, looks for a place where he can rest his elbow, and presses the horn knob by mistake.

MISTER JOSEPH

I'm usually interested in lots of things, dear young lady. But this time I want to know one particular thing, and I'm surprised indeed that it hasn't cross your mind. I want to know how we leave here. — But you seem not to care a fig, forgive me for speaking so bluntly. I seem to have praised you for nothing. It's true you were a faithful client of mine, but, you see, it's not enough to be a faithful client. A good merchant — and particularly an honest one — as I was, or, say, I still am, according to what Cornelius said, who gave us this damn car, namely that trading is a profession you don't have the right to give up — so, a good merchant doesn't feel really pleased as long as he doesn't manage to be useful to his honorable clients. — Or maybe I indulged for years in illusions. — (Mister Joseph's tone becomes more and more sorrowful.) Yes, please don't try to comfort me with tender words! I'm pretty sure now: I didn't have my job done the way I ought to! I fooled you many times taking advantage of your sincerity, proved when you confessed you had a lot of money. — You remember, don't you? — And I used to squeeze money out of you, dear young lady. — I lied to you! I lied to you so many times, dear young lady. Do you want to know the truth? Well, let me tell you now I never crossed the Atlantic!

Mister Joseph bends his forehead in his hand and presses once more, by mistake, the horn knob.

MISTER JOSEPH

I never heard a transatlantic liner's horn. — Please, don't try to reassure me by telling it's not a disaster I didn't crossed it, or that it's still time for that. Because now I know for sure: I'll never cross the Atlantic Ocean, dear young lady. — And after all these I ask for your friendship? I ask you for your ideas? How could you be supposed to know when would we leave here? You, so tiny and dainty a creature! — Let me be in my pain, dear missy, I'm so sad!

CATHY

(warmly)

On foot, Mister Joseph.

MISTER JOSEPH

(starting, surprised)

Hem? I beg your pardon? What did you say?

CATHY

We could leave on foot.

MISTER JOSEPH

Are you sure you're not mocking me? You really believe we could leave on foot? — What if we have to walk a whole week?

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